Traditions

         My mom often says that the only pictures of her family are on Halloween or in a graveyard on Memorial Day.  She’s number four of ten children, and remarkably they have stayed close to each other all of these years. It was important to my grandparents to implement the tradition of gathering, into their children. Both of my mother’s parents have passed away, but my mom and her siblings have remained close, they often text each other and make plans to meet up with one another. I’m not sure why it was so important to my grandparents that their children be friends, but, it has helped me to see what I want in my own family.

         Traditions aren’t always ones that we celebrate annually, they can also be inherited patterns of belief or behavior. For my mom and her family, the belief that has been carried forward is, "you should be friends with your siblings and take care of each other." I’ve seen my mom try to instill this belief with each of us (her own children) and I’m grateful she has. I know my siblings are there for me, and I will be there for them. Thanks mom!

         Growing up I didn’t always like everything we did as a family, there are some traditions or behaviors that I don’t agree with and I’m doing what I can to not bring those things forward, but as I mentioned earlier, the tradition of caring for your siblings and being there for each other is something that I want within my own family. That’s what’s so great about the family. It’s a classroom, an example of what you can one day do with your own life.

         We discussed this topic a lot in class, and I found that most individuals come from some; weird, loving, broken, all of the above families. We all have things we love and hate about our personal families, what’s important is how we change things, how we move forward.

         Our first class this week we reviewed a quick documentary on a woman named Tammy. Looking into her life, you can’t help but feel sorry for her.  She is, a single mother of two sons. Tammy works minimum wage at Burger King and they live in a beaten, worn down, two-by-two. Tammy is stuck in the tradition of her family, she says, “My dad was poor, so I’m poor.” Her boys are affected by this belief as well. Her oldest son is embarrassed by their house, and is often one to take care of things while she works. He wants to go to college and have an education, but later we find that he had to drop out of high school to get a job when his girlfriend became pregnant. Tammy sons grow up to have wives and children of their own, but many of the poor patterns within the family have remained the same.

         What changes tradition or belief? Who gets to decide what stays and what goes? My belief is that it’s up to the individual. If you don’t know how to do something, or you were brought up in poor circumstances, I think you should find help. Take a class, ask a neighbor, look for good examples around you. It takes work and that may be why some people don’t believe they could possibly change things. I’m a big believer in asking for help and working till you understand something new. It’s helped me to change some of the negative beliefs I use to hold on to. It’s a tradition I hope to pass forward, you can become whoever you work to become.

My mom with her siblings, still going strong!

link to Tammy: https://youtu.be/37ZpauS5Doo