Dating life

The dreaded date, the unwed often cringe at the word that keeps them searching for “the one”. It’s a two-way street, one way, can be; frustrating, time consuming, lonely, and often a letdown when our grand plans of happiness don’t match our partners.  The other is exhilarating, fulfilling, joyful and often leads the couple to courting and eventual marriage. Why then, does the individual often find the passenger seat empty? Could it be there were no hitch-hikers along the way, or we missed an exit along highway 54? I believe the answer lies in how much pressure we place on the date and the lack of encouragement we give to our dates.

         A good road trip has a destination planned. There’s snacks, good songs, and conversation. The road can sometimes be rough, but driver and passenger are there for each other and it helps make the journey a little easier.

Elder Dalin H. Oaks has given three requirements for a date, “prepared, paired off, and payed for.” It’s not a commitment of marriage, or the end to a friendship. A date is a chance to get to know someone better, if you like them, great! If not, no worries, at least you tried. Unfortunately dating has become a BIG DEAL, not just a means to get to know someone better. I think that’s why people find themselves traveling the road alone, because it’s easier than going on a date.

I’ll be honest, I went into this lesson with my eyes rolled. “Psh, dating… how does this subject always come up?” I’m the kind of girl who tries till I make it, but dating exhausts me, because it’s not something I can do by myself. I have to keep meeting new guys, get them to ask me out (or I’ll ask them out, games aren’t my thing) and then go on the outing. It’s hard to not build your hopes up. It’s rough knowing “if this doesn’t work out, it means I have to start the cycle all over again.” I’ve had boyfriends, and dating is what allowed me to see the positive and the negative. It helped me to make decisions and change what I look for in guys, but why is it so freaking hard? Lately I find that I’ve taken my road trips alone. No one beside me, no one pointing the way, or listening to a favorite song with me. I still find my way, but I hope to one day be in that passenger seat, holding hands with my someone. Happy because we found each other, and we have the same destination and plan on how to get there. Therefore what? I get to keep trying, because ultimately, I would much rather have a driving buddy.

So how can we do it? How do we get the meaningful dates, that don’t add to much pressure, but help us see what we want? I direct this answer to women, Be direct. Show the guy you want to date that you are interested, tell him “I wouldn’t say no if you asked me out.” If you’re feeling up for it, ask the guy out. Make it clear, and be supportive to the guy you want a date from. For guys, plan the date, it doesn’t have to be the cost of your first house, just show her that you are willing to put effort into the relationship, even if it’s only going to last for two hours. If you hit it off keep dating, keep planning things for each other. It will be the greatest indicator of your marriage. How you date, now is how you will act later.

In conclusion, for those who may feel downhearted or lonely I would encourage you 
to reach out and find opportunities to meet new people. Drive around, get a feel for who you want to d.j your personal car radio. Dating can be difficult but if done right, it can be the beginning to a spectacular road-trip.